Pretty Fiction - Spotlight #18

Essentially, each and every human is in search of social appreciation, which is probably the most boosting factor in our process of self-discovery. The way we eat, act or dress is part of our identity, which is mainly shaped by the tradition, culture and the role models that we aim to live up to. In addition, we are on a permanent journey of comparing ourselves to our environment – in order to convince others and not less, to convince ourselves.

In this familiar manner we sometimes forget to question our behaviour; we take certain practices for granted just because it has always been done that way. We accept the habits of our parents or friends, and often maintain this for a long time without reflecting on it.

But in fact, there is no reason to be scared of personal decisions. It seems to just be in human nature that new ways of thinking take time before they are accepted by society.

The catchword is: Authenticity.
Every action should be squared with individual values.
Starting on a small scale, we could first give thought to just one negative habit that we'd like to replace with a good one.
Recently a friend recounted her experience:
She decided to replace her often touchy and discontented behaviour towards her husband by doing her best to be nice, and sometimes giving compliments.
For example, she had often criticised him for not washing up and decided to thank him for clearing the table instead.
The challenge was to not make him notice that she was doing anything different. Not an easy undertaking at first – but the result was amazing:
After one day her husband unconsciously started to give her compliments as well. A few days later, he washed the dishes without being asked and finally even told her how happy he was about their current married life.

Inspired by this – how about trying to change one personal mannerism? Be it a certain negative behaviour or habit, here’s a list of tips for you. Let's dive right in:

TIP 1: Identify the wrongdoing Step one is taking stock of oneself: What aspect of your personal conduct causes problems or leads to dissatisfaction?

TIP 2: Make sure you really want to break the habit A clear decision is the basis for any transformation. Make a plan and set goals. Start small.

TIP 3: Tell a friend This step is totally optional. Involving others might encourage you.

TIP 4:  Find a substitute Avoid temptation. Replace the negative habit with something good.

TIP 5:  Stay strong What's your goal? What are the benefits of reaching it? Keep in mind that the effort is worth it.

​Vera Torscht,
Leo Club of Neckar-Franken,
Germany